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The market experts at Banana Boy Books (which has the slogan of "we be illiterate but we knows our alliteration") have found a new demographic to sell to. The market is known as the tabula rasa witless Neocon Republicans who enjoy red meat like a wolverine in heat. Our market research was conducted by viewing the behavior of low rent talk show radio host Kevin James. Mr. James was the unfortunate guest of Chris Matthews this evening, and this was the result http://thinkprogress.org/2008/05/15/kevin-james-appeaser/. Displays such as these don't need to happen folks. Poor Mr. James looked foolish, screaming on top of his lungs, turning red in the face, and not knowing the difference between diplomacy and appeasement.
Here at Banana Boy Productions, we have been hard at work trying to zap you some of the best up and coming IPTV, non DRM'ed, uncompressed, most superduper content possible. We have assembled a writing team like none other. They all have previous experience writing sitcoms on the networks, and all those great Hollywood movies that you all love. Of course they are non union workers, and telecommute from Vancouver, because I am looking out for the bottom line here folks. Now for a never before seen look inside the offices of Banana Boy Productions, and a look at what our head writer named Jib Jib does every day.
Speaking as Top Banana of Banana Boy Productions, I regret to inform you that we will not be a presenting sponsor for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. We have withdrawn our bid to have our name embossed on cheap lead paint based children toys, cheap fireworks, and on the foreheads of cheap Chinese slave labor. Our original plan was to have a banana logo put on the foreheads of thousands of 8 year olds who make our computer components and assorted other goods. This would not bring us any kind brand exposure, but it would sure look cool. The reason we have pulled out support is because we have found out that to our surprise, the Chinese government is made up of a bunch of thugs. Yes it is a surprise, considering how much our government is in love with them. I am starting to think that the US government is simply borrowing money from their neighbor that they don't trust, only because this neighbor is the only one offering. They may have a torture dungeon in their basement, but as long as they help us with our mortgage payment they are good neighbors. Well I am calling bullshit on this whole sorted mess.
The peaceful demonstrations by the sovereign people of Tibet are proof that the Chinese government is nothing more than a murderous regime, and should not be supported in any way. They may have a thriving capitalist economy, and all the signs that they are becoming "western", but their control of the media and their people is disgusting. I strongly suggest that everyone support the free tibet movement. I also have a suggestion to all the American Olympic competitors: when you win your gold medal, get on the podium and give us a sign that you support freeing Tibet as well.
Good evening and welcome to a more button down and serious look at Banana Boy Productions. In light of recent financial developments in the fiscal world, I want to assure all stockholders in Banana Boy Productions, that we will not need a bailout from the federal government. You see folks Conservatives believe in a free market. This is why we need tort reform, stricter bankruptcy policies for individuals, and a need to let prime rate mortgage holders twist in the wind as they move into the 21st century versions of Hooverville's. Of course the free market does not apply to airlines or Bear Stearns, or anybody else who needs a little bit of government love. Now of course airline pilots and crew had to give back their pensions, and a whole bunch of Bear Stearn employees got the shaft, but don't worry top executives made sure to keep their comfortable salaries.
The moral of the story is that the government plays favorites. If you did not know that, well shame on you. Always be suspicious of the government when they are giving away free money. Last time they gave average people a $300 rebate, they gave the richest 1% a huge tax break. You can only think what other kind of borderline criminal activities the Bush administration is up to when they are trying to cover it up with a $600 check. What does it matter anyway, the currency itself will soon be worthless anyway. When Mexicans begin jumping the border to do cheap shopping, you know the end is nigh.
The caption to this picture reads: L to R: Patrick, Me, Ben, Agata, Random -. This confirms what I have always known, that I am the combination of a black man and a drunken polish school girl.
Well when I am not the CEO of Banana Boy Productions, turning ideas into paradigms, then shifting that paradigm and turning them into innovations, I have a day job. Now I do work, sometimes even good work... but I must say I do tend to cause a bit of trouble. Mike or Hawkeye as I call him, antagonizes this type of havoc. Mikey Pine is the Dean of Engineering department and Culinary school that we have in the office, by making evil buttons and breaking things with a potato launcher.
This week I have been documenting this trouble making with pictures, as you see above. I get a kick out of sending these to Jen during the day and showing off how I can waste a full day just causing trouble. Wednesday was a little bit emotional since it was a going away party for our glorious leader Dr. Q. We all gave testimonials about how great she is, and I just had to let her know that I give her tremendous credit for not firing me in the past year that I have worked for her. I gave her credit for putting up with my shenanigans, which she so deserves.She gave us the present of word magnets, which Mike and I immediately exploited by putting up some great sentences as shown above. We then started printing out funny pictures and getting funny looks from people.
Also you can see a picture of our apple tree of staff. You have me as the cowboy, Chris as the skier, and Mike will soon have one as an outlaw biker, which will make us... the village people. It is hard to describe how much laughter flows through the office every day. It is truly a miracle that we get any work done
This post is dedicated to the great city of Austin, Tx and how much fun it was to be there during SXSW. I took the above picture in an alley by the UT campus. Austin has its own style to it. Lots of interesting places, lots of live music, great food, just a good time in general.
Friday kicked off with a trip to the Gingerman, which is a great bar with 90 different beers on tap. Believe me I made sure it wasn't just one beer going through a funnel. Great place, reminds me a lot of Stout in midtown. Played lots of pool with Jen and Josh. For the first time I won a game of 8 ball by sinking the 8 ball, yes I am patting myself on the back right now thinking about my greatness as I type this. There was a patio outside the bar, and there were some weird birds flying around. I swear that they were squawking at each other "I should shit on that guy".
Saturday night we kicked it up a notch. Jen and I attended the dorkbot event in the park across from the convention center and got some free beer. This becomes a theme for the weekend, lots of cheap domestic beer. Anyway, after the event Josh joins us and we start going from bar to bar on 6st street. At some point we wind up at a store called the Hatbox, and we buy hats... well Jen and I bought hats, Josh pointed and laughed. You will have to wait for pictures of that, well if my only reader is Jen, you should already know what it looks like. Anyway we go back to the Chuggin Monkey which was the first bar we went to that night, and danced the night away. I drank a bit more than I should have and remember a bit of a hangover the next day...
Now Sunday was the wildest. We go to the Web Awards hosted by the great Eugene Mirman, with a cameo by Ask A Ninja. Of course we get more free booze during the show, and this springboarded us to a night of SXSW official parties. We wait on line for the Etsy/Threadless party for a good half an hour. Once we get in, we get some free beer and then think hmm this sucks lets go somewhere else. We then go to the Gawker party at Emos. First person we see when we get there is the aforementioned Eugene Mirman. We politely say hi and he invites us to come back tomorrow and see him live. Then we go downstairs and just as we get there Jonathan Coultan is finishing his set... damnit! I snap a pic of him with Jen and he was very gracious to talk to us. We stick around another hour or so and then walk down to Club Deville for the Google party. This was the most fun of the night, maybe because we were buzzed by this point. We meet up with Cheeseburger and chatted with him for a few minutes. I then have a nice conversation with Kerry from www.passiveaggressivenotes.com.I actually passed out a card to her among others at the party, maybe I'll get 2-3 more hits, and you know get sponsors or a blank check from someone. But she was nice to talk to, she did mention she hasn't learned to ride a bike before. I still extend the invitation to her, for us to get on some training wheels and start rolling. We then ran into this guy named Jeremy and his friend who wanted to wear my hat. He had his own hat on, and we go on to trade hats for a moment, then he drew a map of Ireland for Jen... yeah random i know. We wind up the night at Pure Volume and get more free booze, insult a guy from Limewire, and was called Willie by someone.
Monday was our last night in Austin, and we did it right. We all went out to Emo's one last time, saw Eugene Mirman, Mike Birbiglia, and Michael Showalter. Well Showalter didn't make it because his flight was cancelled, but he did call in to say hi. I will say this first Mike Birbiglia almost made me throw up during his set. Ok just needed to check something there, on with the blog. Anyway I am just going to end this with Eugene Mirman's spoof of Tom Cruise so you get an idea of how funny this guy is.
