An economic stimulus package

Banana Boy Productions has been on quite a long hiatus as you may or may have not noticed. At the moment we are working with our creditors to make our flow more liquid, and keeping our books balanced. We have been forced to lay off several employees, and kill many others for the life insurance policies. We relocated to an undisclosed location in the southeastern part of the country, to avoid some of our less than satisfied investors. We have now returned, just in time to save the economy from turning into an even bigger shit storm than it already is. It is bad times ladies and gentlemen. Strippers having to refinance their tits, school bullies not understanding the idea of inflation, asking why they need to either beat up two american children or one european child to break even, it is madness.

I have come up with a solution to at least one segment of the economy: sports. My planned reorganization of all major sporting sanctioning bodies is rather quite simple, turn them all into forced child labor camps. We already get our clothes and electronics from children of the third world, might as well get our sporting entertainment from them. It is astonishing that in a down economy, baseball players are still making the 8 figures a year. This is only encouraged by the average Joe asshole who pays $50 for a ticket to see said overpaid ball player, at the stadium that Joe Asshole paid for in tax dollars. The solution is simple, pay 11 year asian children $10 a week to play baseball, cut ticket prices by 90%, and you still have yourself a profitable business. Considering that the average baseball fan is drunk by the 6st inning, he won't know the difference, and might find joy from yelling obscenities at little asian children.

History for Dummies soon to hit the shelves

The market experts at Banana Boy Books (which has the slogan of "we be illiterate but we knows our alliteration") have found a new demographic to sell to. The market is known as the tabula rasa witless Neocon Republicans who enjoy red meat like a wolverine in heat. Our market research was conducted by viewing the behavior of low rent talk show radio host Kevin James. Mr. James was the unfortunate guest of Chris Matthews this evening, and this was the result http://thinkprogress.org/2008/05/15/kevin-james-appeaser/. Displays such as these don't need to happen folks. Poor Mr. James looked foolish, screaming on top of his lungs, turning red in the face, and not knowing the difference between diplomacy and appeasement.

As a result of the many syndicated conservative radio talkers who are out there, and their many "fans" who have a blood lust to just blow up anything they don't understand, we at Banana Boy Books have decided to partner with the Dummies© brand to release History for Dummies books geared towards simple minded Neocons. These books will have pop out pictures and an audio version for those like Bill O'Reilly that cannot read words off a teleprompter let alone read a book. These books will teach valuable lessons in such words such as nuance, diplomacy, graft, double talk, and other concepts that this group of people have not been able to comprehend for several years. In light of Mr. James's soon to be explosive youtube celebrity appeal, I will send him an advance copy, so he can hopefully write a forward.

An Update from the Top Banana

Here at Banana Boy Productions, we have been hard at work trying to zap you some of the best up and coming IPTV, non DRM'ed, uncompressed, most superduper content possible. We have assembled a writing team like none other. They all have previous experience writing sitcoms on the networks, and all those great Hollywood movies that you all love. Of course they are non union workers, and telecommute from Vancouver, because I am looking out for the bottom line here folks. Now for a never before seen look inside the offices of Banana Boy Productions, and a look at what our head writer named Jib Jib does every day.

China: The official Olympic sponsor of torture and murder

Speaking as Top Banana of Banana Boy Productions, I regret to inform you that we will not be a presenting sponsor for the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. We have withdrawn our bid to have our name embossed on cheap lead paint based children toys, cheap fireworks, and on the foreheads of cheap Chinese slave labor. Our original plan was to have a banana logo put on the foreheads of thousands of 8 year olds who make our computer components and assorted other goods. This would not bring us any kind brand exposure, but it would sure look cool. The reason we have pulled out support is because we have found out that to our surprise, the Chinese government is made up of a bunch of thugs. Yes it is a surprise, considering how much our government is in love with them. I am starting to think that the US government is simply borrowing money from their neighbor that they don't trust, only because this neighbor is the only one offering. They may have a torture dungeon in their basement, but as long as they help us with our mortgage payment they are good neighbors. Well I am calling bullshit on this whole sorted mess.

The peaceful demonstrations by the sovereign people of Tibet are proof that the Chinese government is nothing more than a murderous regime, and should not be supported in any way. They may have a thriving capitalist economy, and all the signs that they are becoming "western", but their control of the media and their people is disgusting. I strongly suggest that everyone support the free tibet movement. I also have a suggestion to all the American Olympic competitors: when you win your gold medal, get on the podium and give us a sign that you support freeing Tibet as well.

From the office of Banana and Associates

Good evening and welcome to a more button down and serious look at Banana Boy Productions. In light of recent financial developments in the fiscal world, I want to assure all stockholders in Banana Boy Productions, that we will not need a bailout from the federal government. You see folks Conservatives believe in a free market. This is why we need tort reform, stricter bankruptcy policies for individuals, and a need to let prime rate mortgage holders twist in the wind as they move into the 21st century versions of Hooverville's. Of course the free market does not apply to airlines or Bear Stearns, or anybody else who needs a little bit of government love. Now of course airline pilots and crew had to give back their pensions, and a whole bunch of Bear Stearn employees got the shaft, but don't worry top executives made sure to keep their comfortable salaries.

The moral of the story is that the government plays favorites. If you did not know that, well shame on you. Always be suspicious of the government when they are giving away free money. Last time they gave average people a $300 rebate, they gave the richest 1% a huge tax break. You can only think what other kind of borderline criminal activities the Bush administration is up to when they are trying to cover it up with a $600 check. What does it matter anyway, the currency itself will soon be worthless anyway. When Mexicans begin jumping the border to do cheap shopping, you know the end is nigh.

This is me!

The caption to this picture reads: L to R: Patrick, Me, Ben, Agata, Random -. This confirms what I have always known, that I am the combination of a black man and a drunken polish school girl.

Screwing around at work

Well when I am not the CEO of Banana Boy Productions, turning ideas into paradigms, then shifting that paradigm and turning them into innovations, I have a day job. Now I do work, sometimes even good work... but I must say I do tend to cause a bit of trouble. Mike or Hawkeye as I call him, antagonizes this type of havoc. Mikey Pine is the Dean of Engineering department and Culinary school that we have in the office, by making evil buttons and breaking things with a potato launcher.

This week I have been documenting this trouble making with pictures, as you see above. I get a kick out of sending these to Jen during the day and showing off how I can waste a full day just causing trouble. Wednesday was a little bit emotional since it was a going away party for our glorious leader Dr. Q. We all gave testimonials about how great she is, and I just had to let her know that I give her tremendous credit for not firing me in the past year that I have worked for her. I gave her credit for putting up with my shenanigans, which she so deserves.She gave us the present of word magnets, which Mike and I immediately exploited by putting up some great sentences as shown above. We then started printing out funny pictures and getting funny looks from people.

Also you can see a picture of our apple tree of staff. You have me as the cowboy, Chris as the skier, and Mike will soon have one as an outlaw biker, which will make us... the village people. It is hard to describe how much laughter flows through the office every day. It is truly a miracle that we get any work done

Shitty SXSW Report: Keeping Austin Weird

This post is dedicated to the great city of Austin, Tx and how much fun it was to be there during SXSW. I took the above picture in an alley by the UT campus. Austin has its own style to it. Lots of interesting places, lots of live music, great food, just a good time in general.

Friday kicked off with a trip to the Gingerman, which is a great bar with 90 different beers on tap. Believe me I made sure it wasn't just one beer going through a funnel. Great place, reminds me a lot of Stout in midtown. Played lots of pool with Jen and Josh. For the first time I won a game of 8 ball by sinking the 8 ball, yes I am patting myself on the back right now thinking about my greatness as I type this. There was a patio outside the bar, and there were some weird birds flying around. I swear that they were squawking at each other "I should shit on that guy".

Saturday night we kicked it up a notch. Jen and I attended the dorkbot event in the park across from the convention center and got some free beer. This becomes a theme for the weekend, lots of cheap domestic beer. Anyway, after the event Josh joins us and we start going from bar to bar on 6st street. At some point we wind up at a store called the Hatbox, and we buy hats... well Jen and I bought hats, Josh pointed and laughed. You will have to wait for pictures of that, well if my only reader is Jen, you should already know what it looks like. Anyway we go back to the Chuggin Monkey which was the first bar we went to that night, and danced the night away. I drank a bit more than I should have and remember a bit of a hangover the next day...

Now Sunday was the wildest. We go to the Web Awards hosted by the great Eugene Mirman, with a cameo by Ask A Ninja. Of course we get more free booze during the show, and this springboarded us to a night of SXSW official parties. We wait on line for the Etsy/Threadless party for a good half an hour. Once we get in, we get some free beer and then think hmm this sucks lets go somewhere else. We then go to the Gawker party at Emos. First person we see when we get there is the aforementioned Eugene Mirman. We politely say hi and he invites us to come back tomorrow and see him live. Then we go downstairs and just as we get there Jonathan Coultan is finishing his set... damnit! I snap a pic of him with Jen and he was very gracious to talk to us. We stick around another hour or so and then walk down to Club Deville for the Google party. This was the most fun of the night, maybe because we were buzzed by this point. We meet up with Cheeseburger and chatted with him for a few minutes. I then have a nice conversation with Kerry from www.passiveaggressivenotes.com.I actually passed out a card to her among others at the party, maybe I'll get 2-3 more hits, and you know get sponsors or a blank check from someone. But she was nice to talk to, she did mention she hasn't learned to ride a bike before. I still extend the invitation to her, for us to get on some training wheels and start rolling. We then ran into this guy named Jeremy and his friend who wanted to wear my hat. He had his own hat on, and we go on to trade hats for a moment, then he drew a map of Ireland for Jen... yeah random i know. We wind up the night at Pure Volume and get more free booze, insult a guy from Limewire, and was called Willie by someone.

Monday was our last night in Austin, and we did it right. We all went out to Emo's one last time, saw Eugene Mirman, Mike Birbiglia, and Michael Showalter. Well Showalter didn't make it because his flight was cancelled, but he did call in to say hi. I will say this first Mike Birbiglia almost made me throw up during his set. Ok just needed to check something there, on with the blog. Anyway I am just going to end this with Eugene Mirman's spoof of Tom Cruise so you get an idea of how funny this guy is.

Shitty SXSW Report: The Panels

While at SXSW, when I wasn't drinking like a fish, I attended some good, bad, and ugly panels and discussions. The following is a quick synopsis and analysis of what I saw. For those following at home, I will be categorizing the panels on a dog shit scale:

0 Dog Shit- Amusing and entertaining as well as informative
1 pile of Dog Shit- Missed the mark slightly on either criteria
2 piles of Dog Shit- Somewhat boring on both criteria
3 piles of Dog Shit- Starting to question my scheduling decision
4 piles or Complete Dog Shit- Time to set panelist(s) on fire and riot

0 Dog Shit:

Worst Website Ever from the Saturday session- This panel by far sucked the least out of anything I saw at SXSW. This was a fake competition made up of 7 teams, trying to come up with the worst idea for a website. Above is a picture of the eventual winner as well as one of my heroes, the great Merlin Mann. He had an idea for a social networking site called flockedup. Essentially he is ripping off my ideas for creating a powerful web 2.0 tool based on the ideas of diversion and slight of hand. Merlin gets a pass for his actions, but I now see that he will be my competition. He won a single dollar from the judge who happens to be a real VC.

10 Worst Ads also from Saturday Session- You can see the trend of preferring the darker panels here. This was a panel discussion on the most egregious marketing campaigns ever put out there by companies such as HP, Cisco, Agency.com, Walmart, and others. The panel headed up by the great Jeff Jarvis showed both mortifying and amusing videos of ad campaigns by these companies, with the sole intention of manipulating the customer. Many of these offenders, paid bloggers to hump their product or service, and hide so in doing it. I mean I will sell myself out for the right price, but at the same time some of these were rather low down. For example, the winner was an Hp ad that was made by a woman who made her children break a fuji digital camera and demand an Hp camera... now thats some low down shit.

1 Pile of Dog Shit:

I Can Has Cheeseburger from Sunday- If you haven't gone to www.icanhascheezeburger.com please do immediately. This is a very funny site run by Eric Nakagawa (Cheeseburger) and Ben Huh. Basically the two spoke about how they turned a site that discussed how they have made a business out of putting funny cat pictures with captions on the internet. Now that is some fucking achievement. Now my one gripe about this talk was that at the onset they promised cheeseburgers for members of the audience, and then while the talk was going on, people from outside of the room ate our cheeseburgers. Now that is a rip.

2 Piles of Dog Shit:

Saturday Keynote with Henry Jenkins and Steven Johnson-

This was an interesting if not highly optimistic discussion about the changing competencies of the next generation. Themes such as people socializing through video games instead of in person, the effort people will put into hobbies such as movies and books in comparison to the effort put into work. and other remarks that give this new generation a pass, due to some collaborative thinking concept. Honestly I don't think Mr. Jenkins sees the pure unadulterated stupidity that I have seen. It seems as though his ideals are too skewed towards the people he speaks to. Interesting talk, but full of some shit.


Browser Wars Monday- This was an interesting talk with representatives from Opera, Firefox, and IE. I really thought that all of these crazed programmers were going to hang the guy from Microsoft. I thought of the idea of putting up a dunk tank, putting the guy in there, and charging $10 a ball to get people to do it. I dont think they would have a problem. I did get bored with some of the discussion of standards, though there were some interesting discussion of how to implement these browsers on mobile devices.

Mom 2.0 Monday- This was a group discussion about ways in making computer use a better experience for mom's and dad's who do not have a background in technology. It was an interesting conversation since my mom is just now embracing using the internet on the iBook G3 that I gave her. The conversation was somewhat interesting, talking about how to educate older people, and making the UI experience easier to use. However, I felt it was a bit patronizing to older folks. Some of the people in the group felt the same way, and basically put it out there that there are a limited amount of uses that the older demographic have for a computer and just make those functions easier to use.

3 Piles of Dog Shit:

Human and Property Rights in the Virtual World- Ok now the title of this thing sounds interesting on paper, however essentially this panel was on whether or not you really own that condo you have on Second Life. The answer is NO damnit, you buy the game, you live in the universe created by the game publishers, how hard is that to understand? This panel could have taken 5 minutes, not an hour. What a pile of crap

Discussion of the Rational Voter with Brian Caplan- Now don't get me wrong Caplan is an interesting guy, an economist of all people at SXSW, but this one falls into the illogical hypotheticals department. Talking about the advantages to selling kidneys on the open market and such. He didn't even really talk about the topic very much.

4 piles of Dog Shit or COMPLETE DOG SHIT- Saturday Keynote with Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook)

Now this was just crap. Ok so this was a double trainwreck. The interviewer was some floozy by the name of Sara Lacy. Now mind you shes pretty hot, but unless shes stripping on stage, some cute airhead is not going to make a keynote good. So this chick had a short skirt on, laying back in her chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs, and just flirting with Zuckerberg on stage. "So you're not really worth $15 billion are you? hehehe" or "What are you doing tonight?" Meanwhile whenever Zuckerberg spoke, he either said efficient social network or platform. I proposed a drinking game to others sitting in our row. Somebody actually yelled you suck half way through. With 15 minutes to go Jen and I just walked. She said what if it really gets good, I said the only way that will happen is if she just starts to screw him on stage.What a waste of time. I am glad that this news has spread on valley wag and other sites.

Just wanted to make note that we also went to Screen Burn and the Trade show that were also in the building. Screen Burn gets 3 piles for being tiny and having almost nothing playable on the floor. The trade show gets 1 pile for having free beer everywhere and some interesting booths.

Shitty SXSW report: The food

Well I am home from SXSW and since I didn't have my laptop with me like the thousand people who brought their Macbook Pro's with them, I am catching up on my blogging now. In fact I wanted to play punch buggy iPhone and Macbook Pro with Jen, but she thought we would be dead in a pool of our own blood by the end of the conference if we had indeed done that. Even I felt like I had a become a corporate sheep jeez.

Anyway I thought I would start out with a full report on the food I experienced in Austin... so basically this is a pro-Biscuit, and Biscuit advocating blog, so if you have differing Biscuit views than myself, I think it is time for you to pull the parachute and jettison out of this blog entry. I must say that I just loved breakfast in Austin, it became a ritual, driving downtown with Josh and Jen and getting a hearty breakfast. I had some Migas, which is a combo of eggs, cheese, tortillas, beans, and assorted other splendid country goodness. I went to the promised land of tex-mex breakfast... and it was good. I also sampled a variety of pancakes, particularly enjoying cornmeal. Then of course there are biscuits. I believe I should start a chain in New York called Chicken Biscuit, where all foods are put into a biscuit sandwich, for thousands if not millions to enjoy. crab cake on a biscuit, hamburger on a biscuit, and of course chicken on a biscuit. Indeed a delight for us all to enjoy.

Dinner was a more hit or miss proposition. We had a good sampling on Friday, with Ruby's and Mangia's. Ruby's being a top notch bbq place with all the fixins you can ask for, and Mangia's being a kind of pizzeria Uno's type joint. On Saturday we insisted on going to spaghetti warehouse. I had abused baby cow or veal as they call it. It was alright, but I must say we only really went because the name just sounded so bizarre. It seemed as though we were shopping at Ikea for lasagna. Monday night we went to a tex-mex place called Oasis up in the hills. The view was quite splendid, but the food was rather average. All in all some good eats in Austin

Shitty sxsw report- Saturday

Well I am in Austin enjoying sxsw. Right now I am sitting back with
Jen waiting for a keynote to start.

Friday was a bit of an adventure. Leaving at 5am wasn't the most fun.
I was a bit punchy, even mentioning that life is a joke from God, and
we are the punchline.

Josh has been our host, though considering how much he is in the
library while in Austin, not the best tour guide. We have enjoyed
great food so far at Ruby's, Magnolia, and mangia. Oh a note about the
picture, this guy was blowing on a harmonica while driving through
town. Thats nuts. Anyway gotta get going. More coverage of the panels
to come, along with talks about birds, and chicken biscuits

Career Advice

Well it is late at night and I am working on my applications for law school, which like a fat nerd on eharmony, will surely be sent to the rejection pile. It is somewhat depressing doing all of this work for an eventual rejection, because it really doesn't mean anything. My LSAT score basically disqualifies me from even being spit on by these admissions committees. Well anyway while I sulk, I have been thinking of possible careers that someone with a BA and an MA in Criminal Justice can do. Firstly, I think trucking can be a career for me. I like to travel, I like big trucks, and I like drugs... wait I don't like drugs. Well never the less, hauling a big ass 18 wheeler around can be a decent job. I have also thought of breaking into the high tech world of plumbing. Talk about a good paying profession. People will give you a blank fucking check to make sure their house isn't flooded with their own shit, and hence create their own pile of meaningless excrement. I have also thought of being a swindler. I can talk jive as good as the next guy, and well thats almost like becoming a lawyer. This is a lesson to those wanting to go to college, become a marketing major. Go out there and sell product, convince clients of your workflow skills, be a good company man/woman/disembodied voice, be a go getter. It is scary to think that my options are either to take a risk on some crazy idea, or play it safe and become a cog in some wheel. There really isn't any meeting point between the two. With great risk comes great reward, playing it safe will get you a decent apartment and a Toyota Corolla. Not that I wouldn't want a decent apartment and a Toyota Corolla, but... I don't know yet.

I am a sheep

Here is a blurry pic of the Foo Fighters moving to their acoustic stage which was near my seat from last night. Looking at the pic I just realized how much of a sheep I am, notice all the other sheeps with their digital cameras and cellphones taking similar blurry pictures. Oy vey

John Jay College Engineering Department

Above are some pictures courtesy of Mike Pino, as he carved his path to destruction with his mod of the easy button. Spectacular job man, my hats off to you

Evil button update

This post is dedicated to old Mikey Pine and praise him for gettin' it done. Today he brought in a freshly modded easy button with a button on it that allows you record anything and be played back on the device. Pictures and links to the mod job to follow, but from he told he spent about 4 hours on it soldering in a new chip into the device and throwing in a whole bunch of components in. We played with this thing for at least 3 hours, and giggled like squeeky mice and school girls

Worst Street Fight... Ever

So last night I was on my way to Stout after the Foo Fighters show. Firstly, that was one amazing show, one of the better ones I've been to. Anyway it was there that I saw the lamest street fight in the history of street fights. So I Anna and I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and just start commentating on these two lame bastards. One of them is on the top of a driveway and the other on the bottom, and the guy on the top of it was so short that he was barely eye to eye with the guy at the bottom of the driveway. So they are aruging and then the short guy gave the tall guy a backhand slap. The tall guy, stunned by how much of a bitch move that way looked at him and said what the fuck? Then he starts walking backwards and saying don't hold me back! I then realized that I saw the lamest street fight in history... the end

Cards are ready!

Today I took one step forward into domination of my market "space". Here is a sample of my new business card. I will make these available to those interested in creating partnerships and joint ventures. I will soon be posting testimonials by loyal Banana Boy Productions end users. Soon thereafter I will be off to the Interactive conference at SXSW to sell my wares.

My Mission Statement to Investors

I am writing this entry as a mission statement to my investment team. They have worked hard to keep my revenue flow streaming and have brought in vast amounts of VC. Now a primer for my company.

Banana Boy Productions is an ever expanding mass media conglomerate that both creates content and delivers it to end users. We are an interactive service which fills a growing segment in the web 2.0 market place, with high ambitions for growth into many other segments. We are more than just a company, we are a lifestyle brand, which is ready to be exploited throughout several mediums. We have not yet reached capacity, and we have a large amount of cash on hand. Our position as a private LLC allows us to create a new vision for internet entertainment ventures, as well as provides a blueprint for the future. The Banana Boy Production staff is young and hungry to meet our number 1 goal: synergy. A synergy between brands, markets, mediums, and a minset on solutions. Both in the business to business and peer to peer niche we plan on creating solutions which will optimize efficiency and capitalize on growth. Our outlook is bullish, our yields are strong, our dividends will be vast. The future is bright, the bubble has not burst, our innovations are future proof, our eyes are on the prize.

If you are interested in becoming an investor in Banana Boy Productions, please email us for a prospectus so you can weigh your investing options and select the commitment that is right for you.

Random Weekend Excrement

Ok well I have decided to have a semi regular entry called random excrement. To fully embody this notion I searched for random shit, and randomly selected a photograph for this entry. Don't expect this type of entry to appear weekly, monthly, or on any type of schedule, that is because it is random god damnit. If you did not understand that to begin with, well it is time that you stop reading, roll yourself into a ball and hope the jesus loves you... which I doubt. I am fired up on 3 rotors, yes ladies and gentlemen I switched that metaphor from the piston model for combustion engines to the Wankel. Ok here are the topics for random excrement today:

--I am a sophisticated Redneck

--Assholegate

--Neocons are Pussies

--A Eulogy for HD-DVD

Let me start with the more political portion of this entry. As i stated in my initial post, I will comment on politics from time to time. Those who know me, will know that i am a rabid liberal who foams at the mouth when conservatives lob ad hominem insults at people like myself, or for that matter throw a fallacy out there and say it enough times that it becomes facts. Well I have had enough of the Karl Rove's of the world, who try to pump up their criminal bosses as patriots. What I say to them? Well simply put Neocons are Pussies. I am sick of hearing these phonies say how liberals hate America, aren't patriots, or any of the other words that "fire up the base", well you're pussies deal with it. You run around like chicken little screaming that the terrorists are coming. If we don't get them there they will follow us home... what are they lost fucking puppies? Lets bomb Iraq which is in the middle of a civil war, and then send in troops... of course not our kids though. As Bill Maher said the other night, it is time for Mitt Romney's whitebread sons to suit up and go into the green zone. Put your money where your mouth is. The conservatives are also so scared that people are communicating with each other, that we need to secretly wiretap everybody without any kind of warrant. Look at any damn white paper on data mining and it will tell you that you won't get any good intelligence off of doing that, but these chicken hawks don't care.

While we are on the subject of criminal enterprises, lets discuss the Bush administration for a moment. I can't even start on all of the scandals and moves that have sold out this nation lock stock and barrel. I will comment on what has really frustrated me. With the proliferation of scandals, I have had to put up with hearing spy-gate, leak-gate, and every other imaginable noun plus gate combination. I get it, Watergate... haha now it is the time to shut this down. Every media type who continues this tradition will now be a part of a new scandal called assholegate. This mass conspiracy of assholes has to be covered in a 24 hour a day news "cycle". Pundits will have to both support assholes, and bury assholes. Please lets retire this euphemism before I run head first through an iron gate.

Now that I have completely buried my future aspirations for public office with this tirade, let me discuss how I am a sophisticated redneck. I admit it, I like eating cracker barrel, I think professional wrestling is America's greatest contribution to theater, and I am watching Nascar right now... but in HD (see sophisticated). Now that the race just finished, lets congratulate Rocket Ryan Newman on his win. Ok well it just demonstrates that stereotypes are just stereotypes. I think a lot of the exploitative stuff done in professional wrestling is low brow and below the level, but I think there have been guys like Paul Heyman who have brought real drama to the medium. Some of the stuff done in the mid 90's grossed millions of dollars for promoters and entertained millions as well. Auto racing is another misunderstood medium. There are so many different disciplines of auto racing, that all get lumped into the ball of Nascar. Sure I watch Nascar, I just watched their biggest race along with 10 million other Americans, but its not the only game in town. There is road racing, dirt racing, rally racing, motorcyles, just about anything you can imagine, and for me there is real excitement in that. Hemingway once said that their are only three true sports, bull fighting, mountain climbing, and auto racing... maybe he had a point. Man versus Man, Man versus Machine, Man versus concrete wall, now thats competition.

Finally lets remember HD-DVD (2006-2008). HD-DVD, you were the bastard child of Toshiba, Microsoft, Dreamworks, Paramount, and others. You were technically inferior Blu-Ray, but you were a scrapper with heart. You were released with more titles, you were less expensive, and you took the early lead in the format war. You were killed in cold blood by Sony and the Blu-Ray people, who hired the studios to take you out back and shoot you gangland style. Sony seeked revenge for MiniDisc and BetaMax, and you succeeded, but at what cost? HD, you had gusto, you lived the dream, you will now reside in the attic with all the other obsolete gadgets.

The Faux Five

Every once in a while you have to make a blog post out of spite, and today is one of those days. Pam always says I don't document anything when we hang out, so chew on this Pam. I also want to give a plug to the Yesterday and Today, which is the Beatles cover band Pam, Jen, and I saw last night over at the Woodhaven House. Check them out at yesterdayandtodayband.com. It was a fun night all and all. The Woodhaven House had Glendale, Ozone Park, and a bit of Staten Island all compressed into one bar. I was going blind off the reflection of all the bald italian men. Then again Jen didn't mind, because she had many of them trying to dance with her. She is really a hit with the 40-60 crowd. The music was pretty good, though I must admit that I don't care for the Beatles early catalog. I think in general the Beatles get too much hype, as though they couldn't do wrong. To me if their early songs were done by Bobby Darren or some other commercial crooner of the time it wouldn't have made a difference to me. It was just white boy bubble gum pop, with no soul in it. Around the third set they played the songs that to me make the Beatles the band they are remembered as. The later songs like "While my Guitar Gently Weeps" and "Revolution" that had real soul to them. They also had one of the original Temptations come on state and sing "Mustang Sally" which is just a blues classic. Songs like that live and breathe, and when sung by people who have sung those songs for 50 years plus just came alive and become a living monument to American music.

Office antics

Well I made a Staples run last week to pick up supplies for the office. How lame it is to be walking through the aisles searching for ink cartridges and such during the middle of a day. It was then that I discovered my new favorite gadget, the Staples Easy Button©. The soothing tones of the announcer saying that was easy just stole $5 out of my pocket. This circular shaped gadget of joy has kept me well entertained ever since. There is now no need for biting sarcasm or dry humor, when I am just one punch of the red button away from bringing joy to many. It is all a matter of timing, and to use the device sparingly, and I have become a master of that nuance. In a way it is like a musical instrument, like a small chime that sounds good in the background.

Though this instrument of delight brings me loads of entertainment, there is a part of me that is never quite satisfied. This is when Mike in the office came across this jewel of wisdom  http://www.impulsedesign.com/easy_button.pdf. Yes an evil button folks, now we are talking. We have decided to get a plank of wood, paint John Jay College Engineering Department on it, and do this project during work hours. We have even informed our supervisor that if you see us with a blow torch, a dremel, and a sledgehammer, to not be shocked and just look the other way. We have considered many options in what to make the thing say. We have thought of creating a life sized poster of Matthew Lesko, and have it say FREE MONEY! We have also considered other options such as Look Ma No Pants and many others.

Apple Fanboism collapsing upon itself

Yes ladies and gentleman that is a picture of a Macbook Air taken on an iPhone and then posted from said Macbook Air. The dimensions of Apple fanboism have imploded and you may all jump on a life boat and make a run for it. While I am destroying the universe I might as well comment about the much ballyhoed ultra thin/ultra light notebook. Being a Macbook owner, I am right at home on this thing. It really feels as though my Macbook became anorexic and grew an aluminum shell. You can literally pinch the top and bottom together. All the edges are rounded off, so if you want to slice yourself open after purchasing an $1,800 laptop for its looks, you really cant. The screen is LED backlit and is slightly brighter and saturated in colors. The screen itself does not bend back on its hinge like the macbook does. All and all I do not see the niche for this unless you are a traveler. I think a 12" Macbook Pro with full sized express port and discreet graphics in this price range would be more attractive to the average Mac fan. There are several display units around, and people are gathered around them. The performance is on par with a Macbook for average tasks. I will stick to my Macbook. For $700 less, I get the same machine with a few extra pounds.

While I was here I was able to pickup the V-Moda headphones I wanted. Amazon was taking forever to ship them so I bought them within 5 minutes. I am looking forward to trying them out with my iPhone. I also made a reservation to talk to a "genius" about the bubbling on the screen of my iPhone. It is quite minor but I wanted them to take a look at it just in case. I guess I am just being anal.

Now a comment about Apple fanboism. I plead guilty to the charges. People tend to approach me and say hey you are an Apple person, and I guess I am. Some people I guess are more elitist about it than others. Two years ago I bought a Mini and now i have a whole slew of Apple products. The products are good, the price is not as high as it is may out to be, and the service is actually quite good. These things are just tools after all, and also it is fun to make fun of Steve Balmer going on rants and throwing chairs like he is Bobby Knight. The vortex of screens that we now look at each day is becoming tough to handle. I personally look at a computer screen, a phone screen, and a TV screen. I think as a people we now interface with glass more so than we do with real flesh and protein. Give me something shiny with some glass on it and I am there baby. Let it have a touchscreen, let me have shiny icons and I will salivate all over it. All this glass makes your brain go to mush as you contemplate whether you posted first, or whether it plays doom, or blends. I guess I read Gizmodo too much.

The buzz of social noise

I was in a coffee shop with Jen tonight, talking about the matters of the day. I told her that I was almost motivated enough to start a real blog. She told me in the most eloquently way possible "do it!" In the words of the "Dead Poet's Society", I now say gather ye rosebuds while ye may... carpe diem. With the precision of those words I offer an introduction. A blog that can be described as a rambling pile of excrement, a bloggers blog, the type of blog that makes you feel like you have just been punched in the gut.

I welcome myself to the "blogosphere" with little fanfare, because I deny the existence of this so called community. It reminds me of the inevitable candidate for public advocate in any number of cities who runs on the platform of "once I will take office, I will destroy it". Hence I take on the same position, and thus will condemn the very thing I am doing. Yes this is hypocritical, but I will later discuss politics, so this will become an important construct to understand. Ah the blogosphere filled with the social noise of today, and I am just another contributor with little to say and much to replicate. With the saturation of media, we have come to the point where the content is readily available, and we are just looking for another voice to repeat what we all know. Hence the blogosphere is a sea of "mash ups", "aggregators", and other buzz words. We have come to the point where this so much crap that it must be synthesized into some incremental dosages.

So on that note you will have to anticipate what might appear on this page, or what might not. Will I let the page live, or will I crush it like grape? Will there be cutting analysis or mere replication? Ehh I don't know yet, so you will have to think about it.